Why I stopped sleeping naked

I ceased feeling safe. 
  Some thing is always threatening. But that is not why I feel unsafe. 

It is something about shadows and hiding. 

This desire to jump into the fire and burn.....I want bhakti.  But maybe that is only pretending?  Maybe I can only ever give bhakti a fraction.  In truth.  
It is like I Am the wild mare, and I Am the strong rider.  And the rider wars always with the mare to keep her held back with blistered mouth.      And who is more wise?  Who knows the way best?  Who should surrender? 
  And who will tire first? 

    I want a new thing. 
I want to sleep naked, unsafe and yet content.