Conundrum

I am tired of the calculations and the plotting.  I have held in secrets that do not completely belong to me.  I have been allowing inequities and abuses to go unchecked in the bargain. 
   All this I am carrying now. 
The damage, I have believed,  that I incurred due to this will be healed when it is over. 

And I have reached the end of allowable suffering in relationship to this task. 

  Today I was asked to go a little further.  Well, not a little further.  A lot further.  Could I risk thousands,  the big desert land and the little green island?
    Can I risk my health and sanity? 
  
Sigh.