When I get you home

I am burning.  On fire.  I am shaking and melting. 
  I'm riding my bike home from work.  And I am going by an open field of a park next to the harbor and it is windy and people are flying kites. 

When I was a kid, kites used to fill me with absolute joy and ecstasy.  

    And, I am watching those flying kites and I am overriding the adult mundane mind that cannot find joy in something like that with no purpose and I am connecting to that joy. 
  I continue pedaling and I come right next to the harbor, to a quiet spot under the bridge.  And the sea speaks to me.  And I remember my love for her, my deep desire to be in her.  For the first time in many months i remember.   And I stop.  Drink her in. 

     Now  I remember my dad teaching me to ride a bike, I remember the happiness of having my first bike....rainbow banana seat bike.  A dream. 
  When I get home,  I see part of an American show and it's in the south.  And the houses, the way the steps come down the front and the way it all looks....I can FEEL my country.   I can FEEL how it is to be there.  And I know I am ready to start developing a new relationship to it. 
  I am sensual today.  I am feeling it all.  
 

    .......How it feels to pedal a bike up a steep hill,  how it feels to hold a horse stance until muscles shake, how it feels to touch a client's tissue and allow it to find it's rightful place, how the salty wind feels from a salt marsh at high tide.....
   Love permeates me.  Longing overtakes me several times a day and I might forget to breathe it is so intoxicating.  
I have surrendered myself, my limbs, my mouth a hundred times just this week to a lover in my heart. 
   Burning, on fire, shaking, melting. 
I have delayed gratification like an epic heroine.  

  No amount of chocolate bars or care packages of the elusive graham crackers will quench this thirst.

In response to such deprivation,  the moon has turned my senses up.  I am nearly howling in the street.