every moment, more

You have been my Giving Tree
and I was blind. From far off I knew, I could feel you...
But I was unable to reach the Truth from behind the layers of death and fear and pain and anger.
You gave anyway.
Because I was reaching? Because you believed in the mystery? Because you are love?

For centuries I slept, covered and separated like the Sleeping Beauty maiden
in fairy tale.  Uninitiated,
waiting and always hoping.

Like the hero of the story,
but also like the exhausted wounded warrior,
full of pain and anger himself enough to lay waste to burning nations....
like the hero of the story, you bent yourself into my cramped conditions,
turned on the light and Kissed me.

Suddenly I am awake to my destruction and
to your pain
to your love
to your Giving, your endless giving.
Finally I am seeing Love....every moment, more.

If only I had always been awake!
If only I had always seen!
If only I had been able to free myself with my own strength and meet you standing...
......I would have spared you such effort and pain.
And I would have never have been able to see the particular beauty of the strength of your commitment to love,
and to be so humbled by it as I am now.
  A mysterious Alchemist is transmuting my regret into gratitude. May the same magic soothe you and then kindle you.
  That wish alone is teaching me to pray.