attachment

Nature's first green is gold
Her hardest hue to hold.
Her early leaf's a flower;
But only so an hour.
Then leaf subsides to leaf.
So Eden sank to grief,
So dawn goes down to day.
Nothing gold can stay. 

Robert Frost


 But it hurts only if one needs gold and cannot accept green.  Therein lies the trouble.  Needing what cannot stay, attachment to what must always fade...it is so romantic, it is so dramatic.  And the fire inside me has striven for this all of my life.  It's tiring, but I've had so much energy.  Right now I am wondering what I would do with all that energy if I weren't trying to attain something I didn't have or trying to change something that I already have or trying to hold on to something that is fading.  
        I. Don't. Know.  
Amazing.  I'd like to try and see, but I am not sure how to go about that thing, if it's even something that can be gone about.