freedom

"And when the shadow fades and is no more, the light that lingers becomes a shadow to another light.
      And thus your freedom when it loses it's fetters, becomes itself the fetter of a greater freedom."  ...khalil gibran


   I participated in the nritta sadhana 8 palms workshop this past weekend.  This time I was not struggling so much with learning brand new movements, which opened the possibility of allowing the activity to work it's way more deeply.  For several weeks I have been taking triphala for the expressed intent of helping me to remove ama impurities which stand in the way of deeper progress along this path.  Which is intriguingly goalless.
   Anyway, after the second session, I was indeed in a cleansing process.  From midnight until 2 am I was purging from both ends.  I awoke very weak, but with a remembered sweetness.  One of the things that became unearthed was my natural delight in the 4 leggeds, which I have unfortunately become somewhat numb to.
      I can feel that the natural inclination is toward greater growth and that along the way, I continuously unconsciously create knots which must be untied later...and so on.  At this moment, I take most comfort in knowing that ultimate escape from this spiral is most likely a delusion, which means I am free to be as light as I can be in making these mistakes and creating this karma.  And I can quickly forgive myself and others for our involvement in it.    
   The feminine wisdom in me knows that there is no time except for now and that "things are going to be so great" comes from an unhealthy masculine derangement.  And it is one that I myself have been trapped in often.  And that's the way it goes...........