yoni

cunt.  Cunt. CUNT.

Another lesson from the Melissae.  Not one I could read about or listen to like a lecture, but one that I had to be dipped into like a honeybee into flower pollen.  Yes, so I can carry it back to my hive and dance it's truth in lemniscate patterns.
   It was my one year anniversary of the night they held me in the magical betwixt and between and I allowed my own voice to open my own heart.   I was baptised.
   On this anniversary, I began to dance lemniscatically, naked cunt around a white owl and a white horse.
I began to spin like a top, stumbling and learning to trust my feet while spinning.  For several minutes I went on spinning until I came to rest on the floor between the white creatures, dizzy.  And that is where I found myself.  Awareness started in my cunt, my womb, my low back, my pelvis, my belly, my hips.  It spread out to my knees and my hands and my shoulders and head and feet.  Me...I was spreading.  I was intoxicating myself.  I was the center.  I am the center. And then I found you.  All of you.  All of you.  But still myself.  And still all arising from the center, where it all started.....cunt.
 
   Not as in "I HAVE"  
But as in "I EMBODY"

Then, when I REALIZED what was between my legs, when I KNEW it, then the tears came.  Now they come again, just to remember.
   Such profound gratitude.
SHE LIVES
SHE MANIFESTS
And then I know.  The healing from the masculine I experienced in England was like a first step to understanding a depth of what lies between and within the two energies.
   The feminine is chained as she is because we are afraid of her.  We are afraid of the manifested life.
The reality of what can happen if she is protected enough to MANIFEST, we are afraid to even contemplate.  She may consume all of us, every one and every bit.  
  So we chain her and rein her and she is SO ANGRY.  But anger is not her true nature.
And so, I have experienced the wrongness of how she is chained from fear and how she rages against the chains and how she is frustrated that her true nature cannot be revealed while so ensnared.
    It feels like a paradox.  I have experienced masculine energy which invisibly provided a protective barrier to the feminine, and under those circumstances, the feminine was able to manifest as is her nature.  He did not judge her or contain her against her will, but held space.  What the masculine does so well.
 
  This is my attempt to explain what I experienced as mysterious and incomprehensible.

This is an infant attempt at healing a deep wound.

I glimpsed the perfection of the yoni.  I perceived it as source.  And from that, I was able to see everyone I could remember as myself.
      My singing yoni sang the world into existence.