to the hearts i said i loved but really didn't know how to love,
to the hearts i promised forever to with cavalier abandon,

to my own heart and the damage i've done to her out of ignorance and insensitivity,

i'm sorry.

can we ever forgive ourselves for breaking hearts?
or do we unconsciously choose pain over and over, hoping punishment is a remedy?

i have forgotten so many things,
but i have not forgotten seeing him cry on the floor of a cold New Zealand room
confused.

i have not forgotten walking in lemniscate in Devon weeping for them

may they all forget what i cannot
may they only have sweet memories, may their hearts be full of healing and warmth

may the hearts close to me now only know peace and love