may this be an aberration of a moment,
let this be a passing phase, like when i wore too much hairspray as a pre-teen and pointed my bangs to the sky.
this moment in time when there is so much information and our fickle unsteady minds just cannot process
and the dark powers spit into the chaos and we come up hating each other
but we know we hate each other,
and doesn't that count for something?

because

if i back up a little,
i remember so vividly that i was born into a little circle that forced and worshipped my weakness because my genitalia was a cave and not a tower.
the girls had a wound and the boys had a weapon and this was the way our jealous and vengeful god loved it.
  in my circle, only the boys could speak and they saw no issue with the arrangement.

in my little circle, my white skin was a gift from god and every other color and every other language (save hebrew) was inferior.
  and this circle had lived in it's quiet ignorance for generations.
we unhappily oppressed ourselves for lifetimes with this blindness
until
 the world became smaller and more crowded and informed and, or, um.
now the circles bump into one another.
violently.
but now we have the violence on video
now we speak about the violence more loudly.
and if no body puts a microphone to our lips, we just do it for ourselves.
ME TOO!

i saw a photo this morning of a black president of the united states with his dog.
i remember that for 8 years so many of us did not remember his skin color as much as his words, his vision, his affectionate marriage.
and when we criticized, it was of policy.
cynics told me he was just a symbol and that power never changed course.
maybe.
but symbols are powerful.
the orange symbol of the moment, the crashing sound of destruction
envy
hate
greed
may this be an aberration of a moment, a passing phase
a stage in the development of consciousness.