you fall out of love with me
on purpose
like taking shoes off
like a haircut
the same way you decided to fall in love when i kissed you in the car as you dropped me off home
the same way you decided to fall in love putting me on your lap in your car and talking about going to your country
the dreaminess you dunked your head under the the way we snorkeled in the bay on a late summer evening
the way you decided to open that wounded heart to a possibility you hadn't considered
the way you
wouldnt.
let.
go.
i told you to not wait for me
you didnt listen. you decided to fall in love.

you fall out of love with me
on purpose
like finding the pup a new home where she can be with her own kind
like deciding i am not your kind or you are not mine and she is not ours
the same way you decided to fall in love as we cried on the green couch saying goodbye
that turned out to be a long hello
the same way you decided to fall in love asking for a life's commitment cuddling in our bed
the sweetness you wrapped us in, my fearful heart and your warm love.

you fall out of love with me on purpose
like turning off a light in a room where i am yet standing with my eyes open

i cannot decide these things.
i cannot fall out of love with you on purpose
like i couldnt stop myself falling in love our first easter in the little hut, breathing our agave breath
the same way i couldnt stop myself falling in love when you joyously announced your mother's approval
   you.
gave me honey and bread on our first date
you.
cleaned my car and refined my messy beeswax
you.
moved us into the amazing house
you.
cuddled me every night until i believed in together and futures
you.
fall out of love with me on purpose
and i am still helpless as ever
to your whim