an american girl

Independence.  When is the last time I felt that?

 I remember spending mornings taking care of the horse farm, then hopping on Synara's back and taking off into the forest at the end of an afternoon.
  There were also the times when I packed up my car and Chaska and took off on the open road headed west to wilderness and adventure...and the time we headed east as well.
  There was college in Albuquerque, riding my bike to school through the city.  Towards the end of that adventure though, I was well ready for a little support and interdependence.
  And now.
Today.

  I realize my style can rub up against some people's sore spots.  But there are others who can appreciate it.  It's alright.  I have the same reaction with other people.  I must dig deeper to appreciate the wisdom of people who spend their lives in a well known comfortable place with well known people and situations.  
 
  I have found myself surprised, pleasantly, by people who want me.  "Really?  You like me?" It's still a bit of magic that I find myself drawn to people that also recognize me as their own.  
  I spent a night in a neighborhood I adore last night, but the sweetest part was being with comrades.  Imagine!

I have been nothing and no one for a while, uncomfortably so at times.  I needed some time for a reinvention, a retooling, a transformation, a revolution.  As always we are doing.  In some way.
  And so now, I am feeling this need for a sharp independence.  For the first time in a while I sense a sharp need to be my own separate entity.  It arises up on it's own.  

  My have I been in a cocoon!  So hidden and protected, quiet and obedient!
And so, to be finding my feet, and my wings and my companions, oh how sweet.