to the end of the road

I had my arms out, waiting for her to land with a plop, but she was a feather. And then she settled in next to me and my nest was warmer and gladder for her presence. It was a bit like looking into a mirror, and it felt both strange and right to have constant companionship after such a long separation. And then, in the same ghost way that she materialized into my world, she was gone again. The nest was chillier and I missed her there right away. Tonight, the first night apart, is a kind of settling in to what was before, but differently. And with more warmth. My sister healed me. Of course she did. She held up herself against me so I could love in her what I had not been able to love in myself.

I finally heard my first kiwi, and had my first New Zealand oysters and finally swam nude in the Tasman. We ate like queens, we relaxed like cats, we talked about cocks and pets and parents and horrid boyfriends and the pleasures and pains of our careers so that we could more perfectly eat like queens and relax like cats.

The scales and tension come falling away in the company of a kindred. I warned my sister that she may never be content again after this, and the truth reflects back to me that after sharing this new love with her, I will be missing something as well.

Although that is all honest, it is also true that I am quite satisfied with the past 2 weeks of road tripping. From Bodega to the ashram, and the hot spring waterfalls to black sand dune beaches and glow worm caves to rope swinging into clear rivers....... from communing with 2,000 year old giant Kauri trees to snubbing ridiculous boys, it was definitely in my top road trips of all time.

Good night sweet freyakalimaeve, wherever you are over the pacific. Love and kisses and gratitude.