love letter

This is a love letter for a rainy day in Albuquerque. The days in that high desert are all gloriously sunny. The sky is such a fantastic azure blue all day every day. And that is what we love. We love consistent pleasant weather. The climate agrees with us there.

We gave no thought to needing a rain fly for the tent, or a plan B for an outdoor wedding. We did not become anxious to be inside working on a shiny day. And I have numerous spectacular memories of beautiful hikes and amazing outdoor parties under breathtaking skies.

But this is a love letter to that day that rises above all of that. I remember that it was a Friday. I was almost finished with school at hippie central. My eyes and tongue had been on fire for weeks, over filled with sun. I was in a cafe called 'Double Rainbow' and then later, 'Flying Star'. The monsoon came with amazing force. There was lightning, thunder, the noise of the water on the roof was deafening. And we all stopped. The city streets turned to rivers in minutes, traffic was a mess. It was a most beautiful chaos. We all thought so.

And then, within the hour, it was over. And there was the rainbow against that blue sky.

It was the introduction of chaos into what was persistently predictable that makes me swoon to this day. Whatever was breaking my heart dropped then. The drains could not cope with the flood.

The arroyos became dangerous.

I became aware.

This is a love letter to waking up.

Sweet chaos,

death,

heart break,

falling in love.

We are not sure that it is all good, that which rocks us from

copacetic to perilous.

This is a love letter to Kali, who sent Freya as seductress.

Stay if you will. Go if you must.