alone and omnipotent

I pulled into the driveway and turned off the car. And like I hoped, like I expected, as soon as the engine sound disappeared I heard the soulful howling. And I felt the same. My sweet baby girl. After our first tentative meetings, I am back in my body here, settled comfortably back into spoiled rotten too muchness. And she hugged me like she always did, and she came to rest on my foot. Familiar. Sweet.

Back again as well is my old pace. The running, racing, scattered pace. The eating in the car, texting and calling the next 3 people I need to connect with, making plans at an alarming rate. Remembering abruptly the things I have yet to do. My body trails 2 steps behind and is fussing about it.

The spell is a powerful one. We cannot help who we are here. Some of us struggle against and suffer consequences, but it is easiest to just give in and start humming along. Nothing else exists here but us. No place matters here but here. We are alone and omnipotent.

It is a forgetting spell.

I owe so much in this place, and am owed.

And the exchange only gets deeper and more entangly.

To the loves in the soft underbelly, I watched LOTR just to hold you. I said aloud "can you see how ridiculous is that beauty?"

I hold you still and softly, amongst the bays and the grassy hills and the sweet evening light.