fidget in time

watching me watching you by the elderberry tree

freeing her from blackberry brambles, brushing my hair

bleeding me out. menses didn't quite get it all

i can't get it out

i don't want it out. femininity

masculinity

sensuality

vulgarity

fragrant flesh in the southern hemisphere sun.

where am i on highway five, heading south

here!

the fruit trees kissed me goodbye

and i am watching myself be kissed

and i am waiting for the tears that always come

because i never learned a proper ending.

the truth is,

i fuss against this.......

eventuality

fidget in time

rhythm of denial

dance of willful ignorance

where am i in okere falls cafe, sitting but not still, no

not still