the death of some chickens today

I am having a very strange and unexpected thing happen to me. I hope it lasts. I'll not try to hold on to it. I'll just observe how it feels, what shape it takes, how it will guide my feet and so on. I gave up sugar and flour, (except for the occasional bit of whole wheat) and alcohol. Altogether. About 2 weeks ago. Not indefinitely, just for a little bit, 6 weeks or so. I'd like to keep sugar out longer, we'll see. So I remember a few nights ago feeling an emptiness somewhere inside and my mind kept thinking of things to fill it with, but nothing seemed to fit. Not pickles or brownies, not tea or alcohol, not sleep, not music, and so on. I just kept feeling the empty feeling. I didn't try to fill it with anything. I think I haven't actually taken any time to feel that for a very long time. I think at any sign of that feeling I am baking something sweet or drinking something or watching something. Numbing out. I am guessing that maybe the withdrawal of my usual drugs has left me kind of raw or something. Usually I do not have the stamina or will for this, but it's actually not so painful. So, I am finding that I crave no alcohol, no sugar, no doughy or flaky confection. Instead I am craving meditation and sunshine and pure sensation. I eat surprisingly little and I am full. My guess is that I am filling up my belly and that's it. My heart does not crave food or drunkenness. It craves things I have been depriving it of for a long while. I did not take psilocybin to approach this awakening. Like Aldous Huxley suggests, mushrooms are a feast, a colossal banquet for the consciousness. But it needs to eat a little everyday to be healthy.
Quietly, outside of the buzzing, numbing effects of my regular choices, I can hear what I really crave. Or I think I can hear it.
Okay, now back to the dishes.