the end

wake up, sun shining through window onto face. chilly floor, not uncomfortable. making breakfast, call from dad. Heart jumps and drops. call back. Mother's mother is dying, we don't know how long........what do we do?...arrangements, travel. Sadness, tears, acceptance and back again.
Change court date, no hassle. Look at calendar....supposed to be at work an hour ago. Call work. Shower. Leave. Remember this woman, this strong woman, funny woman in memories. Realize no more waving from the porch, no more garden walks, empty thanksgiving, christmas eve....want to let go, is inevitable, not ready yet. Maybe convince her to reincarnate into my unborn child's body.
choose between paying speeding ticket and paying electric bill. Pay speeding ticket.
Enjoy sunset. Love life. Love life more because of death. Post blog.
the end

you gotta

give me oil in my lamp, keep me burning
I am hatching a master plan....
do you want to be involved?
I'll tell you what....meet me at 7 pm around the corner....you may be glad you did.
I am growing younger all the time. Every day that I get older, I get two days younger. I can feel it. I have no idea what my real adjusted age would be. Sometimes, in the past mostly, I will age 3 days in one day. And then maybe I will age a day and get one day younger in the same day....so then it cancels itself out and it's like a plain old free day. Then there's this whole other deal like....sometimes I'm so busy or for whatever reason not paying attention at all and it'll be a span of maybe a whole month and perhaps I only aged 2 weeks during that time, but since I haven't been looking, it is like 2 weeks of aging all in one day!!! I can tell you what my birth day is, but that won't tell you anything.
Ponder with me a moment.....have you ever seen a super hot older lady? Of course you have. And then I'm sure you've seen a pretty unattractive young person eh? Well, so I could be ugly as cardboard and growing younger doesn't do me a darn bit of good. Well, lucky for me, I'm pretty as a bluebird.

my long awaited rhyme time.
in with the snail mail
out with the lunch pail.
all my kisses all my sex
find holed up in a waxy hex.
basmati rice
kidney beans
these are some of
my favorite things.
scorpio rises
scorpio falls
scorpio singing
down your halls
make a little birdhouse in your soul


I'd like to thank god for always being there and for staying out of my life so far...I cannot really tell which it is.
I've never really officially protested the war...the one on drugs or the one in Iraq. So I protest, officially. Both of them. There's just no reason to kill whole bunches of people. That's how I feel about it. It just feels wrong to drop bombs on people's heads or to be shooting at them. I'm pretty sure you go to prison if you do that out of uniform. Add my voice to the others that matter as little as mine does. I'm a part of this country be default. I was just born here. I had nothing to do with it. It's hard for me to feel anything for this stars and stripes flag design. I can't figure out why people get so patriotic about it. Truly, it feels like we don't really belong to each other...the U.S. and I. On to better topics.
Coconut oil. Man, that is good shit. Also, butter. I'm a fan of saturated fat. I like how its solid at room temperature and how it melts in the frying pan. I like egg yolks too. And cream...mmmm...cream. Sour cream, cream cheese. And tomatoes. And mozzarella. Its a wonder I'm not 400 lbs. So far so good.
Perhaps it's because I also like walking and running and jumping and climbing and sexing. Perhaps I keep the heat so low in the house that I shiver off calories. :)

education of a species

I am biting my nails again. And I am in love. Yes, with my mate, but in a completely new and overwhelming way. In addition to that, I am in love with everything....my belly, the sky, the sound of silence and laughter....children and dogs and snow and
E V E R Y T H I N G. And simultaneously, it is all average and mundane.
This morning when my mate left, I was in the deepest sorrow. I wept uncontrollably like a child for his mother, indeed it was that same sentiment. I had no guarantee that I would ever see him again, I could only feel the pain of separation in that moment. And moments later, I was grateful for being able to feel that much and be unashamed of myself and completely in the moment.
I sound like a new age creepy flake. And it really doesn't matter.
It is the truth.
I choose to be unafraid of judgement rather than live a half-life of shame and reserve and regret.
If you are reading this, congratulate yourself on your amazing life. Every painful and comfortable breath is absolute perfection. I cannot prove it. But you know it somehow. It's not hope......beyond that.

you can't blame me

for loving dogs. I loved them before I could think about it. And cats too....and horses, I swear, I didn't really have a choice. Some of our species don't get it. They think people like me are strange, they shake their heads in wonder. I don't have 10 dogs in the house or anything.....I would, if money were no object, probably. It's just that I love things that breathe.
I fall in love with dandelions and robins and oak trees. Any dog or cat or raccoon in my viewing area should be able to feel the pure adoration pouring out of me. This started way before I saw Bambi.
Why am I spending minutes writing about this? Really though, why are you spending minutes reading it?
I fell in love with Kong. I'll admit it. Right here, right now. Kong is pure love, just like any of us. But it's easier to recognize when covered in fur perhaps.
love and kisses