on second thought

I see it now, glowering at me like a teacher who knows I should know better. The problem is not with the climate. How could it be? The problem is with my perception. There is always something wrong......too hot, too dry, too wet, too cold, too remote, too expensive, too populated....you see where I am going. I am not in the wrong environment. I am, like my friends and neighbors, ill prepared. I am dependent on a scarce system of heat and food. If the electricity fails, I am without light, heat and water....and most of my food. If the electricity fails, my furry friends are virtually unaffected. They depend on me like I depend on my coffee maker (which I have been happy and healthy without for a week now).
My relationship to the natural world, sadly, is a fear based one. I'll be testing the depth of my dependency this January when I take my beautiful and talented friend April back to the wilderness school. www.teachingdrum.org
In well below sub zero temps I will be without electricity.
I have been through the mosquito class there and was surprised that what I thought would be a big deal was not. For instance, getting swarmed by mosquitos, in essence purposefully feeding them, was less of a problem than being without sugar and coffee. Or experiencing my menstrual cycle in the woods with no running water was no concern at all, but the traditional sweat lodge I participated in was like nearly dying.
So my point is, .........................yes, they call me hippie dammit!!!