equinox rocks

First day of spring, or second if you count last night as a whole day...whatever. It's raining. Glorious, beautiful spring rain. This is the year of the golden boar. This is the year I turn...29!!!! I can feel the ants scurrying, the honeybees' anxious dance, the flutter of robin's wings. I can hear the yawning and stretching daffodils, the hungry mosquito babies. Welcome all! If last year was the year of completion (and it was) then this year is new beginnings. And if there is anything an Aries loves, it is new beginnings. I am admittedly fumbly with completion. There is a Scorpio I know that can close doors and say goodbye and disappear faster than an ice cube melts in july. I know some Piceans who can back out so gracefully that you never knew they were there in the first place. I know a Capricorn or two who can turn a corner with the sharp precision of a salsa dancer.
Not me. No, an Aries will stamp her feet, breaking everything in the room. She will leave prematurely, in a hurry, and forget her purse and shoes and necklace. She'll have to come back and she'll be fuming mad about it.
I think I remembered everything this time.
Welcome to the new space, self. You look great. Nice shoes, I love your skirt.

the death of some chickens today

I am having a very strange and unexpected thing happen to me. I hope it lasts. I'll not try to hold on to it. I'll just observe how it feels, what shape it takes, how it will guide my feet and so on. I gave up sugar and flour, (except for the occasional bit of whole wheat) and alcohol. Altogether. About 2 weeks ago. Not indefinitely, just for a little bit, 6 weeks or so. I'd like to keep sugar out longer, we'll see. So I remember a few nights ago feeling an emptiness somewhere inside and my mind kept thinking of things to fill it with, but nothing seemed to fit. Not pickles or brownies, not tea or alcohol, not sleep, not music, and so on. I just kept feeling the empty feeling. I didn't try to fill it with anything. I think I haven't actually taken any time to feel that for a very long time. I think at any sign of that feeling I am baking something sweet or drinking something or watching something. Numbing out. I am guessing that maybe the withdrawal of my usual drugs has left me kind of raw or something. Usually I do not have the stamina or will for this, but it's actually not so painful. So, I am finding that I crave no alcohol, no sugar, no doughy or flaky confection. Instead I am craving meditation and sunshine and pure sensation. I eat surprisingly little and I am full. My guess is that I am filling up my belly and that's it. My heart does not crave food or drunkenness. It craves things I have been depriving it of for a long while. I did not take psilocybin to approach this awakening. Like Aldous Huxley suggests, mushrooms are a feast, a colossal banquet for the consciousness. But it needs to eat a little everyday to be healthy.
Quietly, outside of the buzzing, numbing effects of my regular choices, I can hear what I really crave. Or I think I can hear it.
Okay, now back to the dishes.

black river runs dry

Imagine this situation.....one day the world wakes up and there is no more oil. At one time, with the help of some paranoid doomsayers in my ear, I was almost constantly anxious about this scenario. People run a muck, riots break out world wide, city people raid farms, most everyone is quickly immobile and food and goods run out in a matter of days. I don't know....it could happen..lots of things could happen. We all know that our way of life is unsustainable, we just don't know how long until nature restores order, or if, as a species we'll adjust like we have so many times before. Maybe at the last minute, we'll stop needing fossil fuels. It could happen...lots of things could happen. Some people think this is the last minute. Many people have thought that before. There is always some prophesy or sign or suggestion that gives us warning the world is about to end. Maybe most of us sort of like the idea that something drastic will abruptly change the world. Continuity is boring and depressing. We keep polluting and water gets dangerous and more people die of cancer and there's more pollution and the air gets dirtier and the sky always looks hazy and more people have asthma and there's more pollution and the soil gets more impoverished and species die off and wilderness disappears and on and on...blah blah blah. Depressing. But if Jesus comes back and the Antichrist takes over.....what an exciting story! Or maybe we all evolve to a higher consciousness and our eyes glow and we float around and teleport and stuff. Or maybe the world ends in 2012 with the Mayan calendar and we all burn alive and nothing is left but the mushrooms. I don't know. It could happen...lots of things could happen.
Anyhow....if the oil ran out while we were still dependent, where would you rather be?


http://foodandfarming.bioneers.org/node/84