I am finally a dervish

 Twirling counter clockwise (finally a direction that makes sense to my body) in a room 

Full of persians, leftover beating hearts from the empire who gave us human rights 

      (and now gives us suffering and dread)

But no matter. What was is and always shall be. 

As evidence, i am spinning in a room full of persians in australia. 

as evidence, you know who rumi is. 

twirling counter clockwise summons my deep self, my conscious observer

who reminds me that i am a priestess of an unseen world,

  that i gave myself to this unseen world long ago,

and that success in the capitalist machine world of psychopathy is not the outcome of priestesshood in the unseen world.

  my outcome is an inner strength that is activated by wind, water, fire, earth. 

Forests. 

Wild animals. 

Singing. Drums. Running through wind, water, earth, forests. 

Oceans. 

Love. 

Twirling, i remembered that i am successful in the world that has meaning for me. 

   my body, my mind, my self is made for this. i am this. 

i was born a dervish and i am becoming myself. 

   

believe

 I don't know if I believe in fate. I don't feel it's possible to commit to something so tethered to change as belief is. 

  It is pleasant sometimes to think about my exile in this country to have meaning. And that meaning can only be you. My Kurdish genius. My matching whirling dervish. 

While we watch the world fall apart, the seas turn to acid and the trees burn and the animals disappear, we dance together, we hold each other safe. 

While we watch our civilizations falter and crush everything connected to them, we love children, we try to make more of them, we support each other to nurture a future we are not sure will exist. 

I have not needed to believe since we trusted each other. I have not needed to hold to an invisible thread to anchor myself in the endless ocean of consciousness. 

I only need to hear you breathing to know I am alive. 

  Did Time know when you watched the fighter pilot's face as he flew his danger over your city, that one day you would speak english all day to your american wife?  Did Fate know when I was being preached to about the "end times" that one day I would safely rest in your persian atheist arms? 

  I like to imagine they did. 

  Do they know how long we will have each other? Do they know if we will raise more children? Do they know if we will one day do everything we promise each other?