love

love.
without choice, i follow her. all the way through the dark forest and into the fire and across the sea
and back again.
around the world.
into sleep.
into mom's arms and on dad's motorcycle and
next to
the new flesh of my best friend's baby boy straight from the heaven of her blood and bone and
love.

i follow.
i have burns, wounds.
i have gifts, connection, breath. because of love

all the world we know, the puppies, the poppies, the beatles.
love.

i have followed lies of love,
hopes of love,
whispers of love.

i have run from love, backstabbed love, rejected love,

been not good enough for her, and then received her still.

she rains, she floods, she bakes, she levitates.
 
  here i am, somewhere near the halfway mark on this planet i love LOVE so much,
and if i know anything, it is that here on earth,
love keeps coming back. 

to ahang mani

yes, i cry for you. for your pain

and the injustice

for your country

i do.

like i cry for mine.

but, baby i love you for the way you couldn't wait for me to walk to your car and got out and held me in the street.

i love you for the way you listen, and whisper love to me every where

i love you for the way you sing to me in the car, then stop and translate the sweet words, then sing more

i love you for the way you pet my hair when im sitting on the floor in front of you

and i love you for the way you are like a song in the background of my days, when my mind has been torturing me, when i am sure life has no more beauty left to show me, i can call you and 3 minutes later i am calm and laughing

i love you for the way you make me feel so loved, even when the world is beating you, even when your heart is breaking, even when you are exhausted.

  i was so afraid once, so afraid of finding myself in a family i may have to leave...that i left you. i walked outside onto the street, trying to decide how i could get home. minutes later you were next to me, not trying to change my mind, not angry, not demanding explanation. you just wanted to make sure i got home ok, offering your car.

    i love you. thank you for coming.
  i know we aren't supposed to believe in magic.
but i know you do.
  and once in a while, i do too.