in the dark with you

I woke up ready to write. But Scotland is in my ear, assuring me he has the answers.

That's fine for Scotland, but I don't respect a people with bad food. Blame it all on the bracken fern, sir. Frankly, I don't give a damn.

But on to the the sweeter drama. Dreams. And separately, aspirations.

I had a dream a while ago, about a race to enlightenment. It wasn't really a race, but there were many of us and were we in separate lanes as if it were.

Some ageless blond goddess shot me in the solar plexus with an arrow. Everyone else was being shot in the heart, but my issues were one level down apparently.

I would not die. But, that bit of information would fade from my consciousness as I felt the ego's favorite emotion rise up in me until it took over.

I would forget the stages I would have to pass through after being shot, as the fear of death dominated.

And, the prophesy has come true.

But these things lie buried within and I have not yet been able to draw out the truth.

Upon waking, I was impressed with the sense of how difficult it would be to take this path.

If there is actually free will at all. If I even have a choice of paths.

So, here I am, about to destroy many of the things I know.

I embody Kali against my better judgement and dance on the skulls of my own sensibilities. And attachments.

But I hear my inner voice assure me that Kali is a dark Goddess like the fertile earth is and that all I have ever needed (food, shelter, beauty) have all come from this darkness.

The hidden, the repressed, the barely known drives me like the shifty fault lines drive the earth. I was never running away, coming to the island underbelly. It was the familiar that hampered experience, distracted self knowledge, rocked my senses to sleep.

Here on the flipside the only familiar voices are of taraxacum officinale, hypericum perforatum, mellissa officinalis, achillea millifolium.

And they cannot say anything but truth.

See, I was always running toward.

I warn those close. I cannot tell how far Kali will reach, how wild her dance may get. Run far away, or stay very close.