all is full of love

Just yesterday I accidentally started driving on the left side of the road. Oops. It was only for about 30 seconds, and I was shocked that my brain could still be so confused after driving on the right side for over 10 years.
I think I had spent so much effort working out the details of driving in the left lane that my default setting has gotten a bit tripped up.
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I had an internal struggle in New Zealand. My over-active brain. I kept alternating between being ecstatic and over thinking my experience. Ecstasy won over most of the time, thankfully.
I am continuously trying to keep a tight rein on my experiences. Not too much too soon, I want lots of space, I am careful to never be pushed out of my comfort zone too far. So, march comes.
I don't generally have a definite belief in any deity. I don't not believe, but I have no need to define it, whatever it is. But, lately, it feels like this.....flow is directing me, pulling me along. It's great. I feel more in touch with myself and more rhythmic now that I feel less in control.
I am confronting some issues I had put to rest or never planned to deal with and I love it. I feel like this is what I am good at doing.
I would never have described it as such, but I have been trying to conform to an ideal outside of myself for a few years.
I could never have grasped or fully understood my need for something different had I not tried to settle down, and so I am glad that I tried, and I am also not upset anymore that it has taken me 29 years to get this far.